5 Tips for Maintaining a Successful Black Relationship
How do you maintain a successful relationship as a Black Conscious couple?
With so many relationships ending as fast as they start, rising cases of infidelity, and private affairs being exposed on social media, its more important than ever for us to understand the building blocks of a successful relationship!
Here are the most important building blocks of a successful Black relationship!
Define A Successful Relationship
It’s important that you first understand what a successful relationship looks like to you and your partner. Clarifying this on the front end will save you both frustration, time, confusion, and heartache in the long run.
When two Black souls have aligned, the family structure is more secure and productive and the community is in a stronger position to flourish. So take some time to talk to your partner about what a successful relationship looks like for both of you. Be clear and honest, and write down what you come up with! That way, you can revisit your definition over time.
Consistent Communication is Crucial
Every relationship must be built on consistent communication that leads to understanding, unity, and resolution . Developing that level of communication is a process that takes time and requires that both parties work with – not against – each other.
It’s no secret that a lack of communication can lead to a dysfunctional relationship. Lack of trust, unrealistic expectations, and unhealthy conflict can ease into a relationship. If you and your partner create an environment where consistent and honest communication is appreciated, you can avoid arguments that can threaten the stability of your relationship.
If you think about arguments that you and past partners have had, you will realize that they could have come from deeper issues that havent been communicated. So make a habit of taking the time to check in with your partner (even if you have to put it on your weekly calendar) and talk about how they feel about different issues.
Dialogue Versus Debate
Since we’re already on the theme of communication, it’s worth mentioning the importance of not allowing simple conversations to consistently become serious debates that lead to division. There’s a time, place, and space for everything and it’s important to make sure that our conversations reflect that.
Dont get me wrong; debate can be good! You should debate the best way to educate your future seeds, how you should practice spirituality, and how to spend your money together. But counterproductive debates can be as destructive as not communicating at all.
Learn to step back, take a load off, and just be free flowing and light in the moment. You may find that the practice of being less serious can help increase the level of attraction in your relationship as well.
Use “and” instead of “but”
Some of you reading this may be thinking, “What does using one word instead of another one has to do with maintaining a successful relationship?”. Actually changing one word in a sentence can drastically change the whole feel of the conversation. For example, let’s look a sentence and replace the word “a” and replace it with the word “the”.
The sentence, “I am a man”, has a completely different meaning than, “I am the man”.
This same thought process rings true with the word “but” and “and”.
“You look amazing today and you should buy that shirt in blue”.
“You look amazing today but you should buy that shirt in blue”.
One word can change how you feel, how the other person feels, and the entire outcome of the conversation!
Always look for compromise but never conform
A great relationship is about two things: First appreciating the similarities, and second, respect the differences.
The beautiful thing about the world is the idea that we’re all unique yet the same in many ways. We all want to be appreciated for who we are, what we believe, and how we live our lives. It’s also important that you take the time show our appreciation for our partner and acknowledge all the great things that you have in common.
Take time to nurture and grow in those areas of similarities. It will be these similarities that will often be the glue that bonds a relationship together. It’s just important that we acknowledge and appreciate our differences. Acknowledging and appreciating differences gives us a chance to challenge ourselves, move beyond our comfort zone, and better love our partners. The differences that we see in others may mirror an area of growth that needs to be addressed in our own life, so don’t ignore those differences! Proactively identify them and put together in a written action plan that will allow those differences to be more of a blessing than a burden.